Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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