I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
