So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
