There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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