I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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