My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
