I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is wine microwaveable?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
