my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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