i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
