i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
