nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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