20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize