I'm passing your future prison.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
