Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
