before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize