Rock
Scissors
Fuck
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
