the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
