Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
