she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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