Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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