we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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