My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
