Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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