I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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