i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
