but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
