Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
