I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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