Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
