hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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