ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
