i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's shark week go big or go home
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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