This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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