The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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