there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
