i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
