I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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