For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
