at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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