Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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