your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
