What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
