your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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