Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
