soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
