I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
