Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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