i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we're so committed to being not committed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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