i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
