you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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