my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
