i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
