my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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