i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
