Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
