There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
