I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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