it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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