pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
