Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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