So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
