just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
