I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
