You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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