he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
