I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
